there's something in my throat i cant swallow

i enjoy creativity but i abhor the stipulated 'creative process'.
so, no working backwards allowed? no 'its-from-my-imagination' type reasons permitted?
isn't conjuring something entirely from your mind more precious than having to referance heaps of research to show there was a 'process'?
i am just curious, is this the prescribed methodology everywhere or just here?
is the supposed process more of a hindrance than assistance?

well, adhering to the design brief is one thing but the means about doing so can easily be tweaked and suited to individuals, can't it?
well, or maybe this really is how it goes. maybe 'design' is suppose to be such- having to pander to an audience that should not be myself.

and, the one thing they repeatedly drill us with is that 'its not about what you like'.
i can see where that is coming from. but to begin with, if its not even something you like then how do you even account and convince yourself?
okay, maybe most people get by not?
or maybe its possible to find some sort of consensus.
or maybe its just mastering the craft of detachment, consciously taking yourself out of yourself.(but its still yourself!)

well, it seems its back to square one.
not funny.
and i forsee this going-in-circles to persist for a bit.
maybe thats the 'artistic struggle', to put it loftily, one has to go through.

i am just trying to tell myself to eat it.