it's funny what time does to you. time can remedy many things but it can also be a beastly reminder of your mortality and purpose. when I was 16, things were so much easier. mostly because I was (and i believe many other 16-year-olds) only concerned with the immediacy of things. the future didnt really matter, at least not in a life-and-death way. it felt more like an abstract concept, that we were striving towards because that was the right thing to do. and our parents, our parents were going to live forever, of course. they were demigods, even though i hated them sometimes. but now at 31 (feels like i just turned 30 and all of a sudden I am 31 going on 32), you know it's not true anymore. what have i done with my 20s? i tried fashion, marketing and all that jazz, and advertising. can i say they were good years? 24 was good. 27-30 sucked. but at least i tried. i gave advertising a shot. but it's time to move on. if my goal is truly to experience, then experience i should. does doing that discount the idea of a goal as a more specific and singular achievement? can one really subsist on experiences? well, who knows? i just have to try to know. also read somewhere that perhaps the mantra to living is to pursue an interesting, as opposed to happy life. i do like that.
writing this in the midst of watching 20th century woman, and i guess something in there spurred me to write this entry. beautiful show so far.
things i want to try:
live abroad for a while
do some form of art - writing, ceramics, jewellery art?
set up brand
continue:
yoga
seeking knowledge
thing to stop doing:
self sabotaging
fearing
No comments:
Post a Comment