episodes

me: eh look, garbage candy.......
(there really is such a sweet btw, packaged in a cute plastic pastel pink garbage bin at that)
a: oh i tried it before, i had the REAL DEAL okayy..........

me: ehh very cold, up the temperature 2 notches please to 21
a: no, 20. i dont believe in 21....

a: look (points to red marks on hand) i am allergic to dogs...i m actually allergic to dogs can you believe it
me: what......then how you have a dog all these years???
a: thats why i am like that, this is the manifestation ( points to fat obese body)
me: hahahahaha good one

coffee shop auntie: (loosely translated from mandarin): oh your son ah that one? very cute hor he and eat alot hor, he bought 8 siew mais leh!
me: huh..................no la, he is not my son. and he eats alot one, he is hungry all the time..
OMG. so hilarious. she mistook a and d as my sons???!!! wtff

sometimes i really want to punch the hell out of you, you are possibly the meanest & bossiest person i know. plus you embarrass me in public all. the. time.
but maybe, thats why i like you.

maybe its that heightened sense of being and the consistency of being in the moment that i value most.
plus, you are the most self-deprecating and intelligibly funniest thing around.
yes, i'll just call you a thing, or thang if you like (EWW!) for now..