comic crisis & that hunter green wall

so thats what that royal shade of forest green is called- hunter green!

watched 'away we go' today. phoenix, montreal, miami etc- the dream of finding some sort of foothold epitomised in a charming couple's search for love, truth and security. tugged at my very heartstrings in an oddly depressing yet illuminatingly poignant way. boy did we agree burt was some kind of cute.....

i told c i am restraining from making any kind of plans. i wonder why. i think at the deep end of it all i am just scared of estranging myself from the security that is now, or maybe the knowledge that plans without real...how shall i put it, finesse(?in whatever way you take it and whatever way i mean) are just quite...empty. okay, i cant quite put this right. maybe i just want things to magically work themselves out and have me plot my path one baby step at a time, spontaneously hopping on whatever comes. wise or not wise, i haven't a clue. but it doesn't really matter the way i see it. maybe i am secretly pining for something- some vague or not so vague abstractions of freedom, fun, madness(?), l-l-l-ove, consensus and solidarity to blaze some sort of path.

quote verona to burt- " are we fuck-ups?"
are we?

your presence comforts and confronts me at the same time, reassures and intrudes my knowing space all at once.

i can't explain but i need you here and not here.
to call me an irony would be an understatement.
damn right, its a crazy town.