is it really that hard?

all of a sudden i really feel like gettin some stuff off my chest so forgive this long wordy entry, skip it if u will...

...i dunno but these days my threshold for certain behaviourial traits is dippin...u'd prob want examples now but i shall keep this brief..
like i hate whinyness and indeciveness especially.when people ask you every single thing and seem to base their decisions on you.. i guess in some ways you should feel flattered but i guess not for me..like it makes me lose that certain amount of respect for them..sad and harsh but true.and people who are not vigilant enough, or should i say sensitive to whats happening around them...i m not talkin bt anyone in particular, just i guess in general..haa.and like i have this problem of somehow attractin wrong energy..haha ..but i guess i can only blame myself for that..too eager too fast is how i would put it...i really need more souls i can look up to these days man, to learn from and enrich myself..haha okay i tink this sounds kinda off but ya..an intellectual mind is way sexier than a hot bod. it may take time to sink in but at the end of the day, it is so.to think i actually said i'd rather be pretty but stupid rather then ugly but smart just a while ago to C and J...while they both answered the latter and called me bimbo...yes what was i thinking..oh man...

and all of a sudden i really dun blame if people cast weird looks or think otherwise if u say u go to art school or do fashion cos like pangs of "what am i doin here?" do occur on random occasions..u really cant help but think arent there more important stuff in the world. yes i love fashion but it gets overwhelming when in school people talk bt models non-stop..i mean they really do.24/7..it does get annoying..n really i m so not into all that glitz glamour and sugar coated facade of it..which i hate when people say "ya, most people are drawn to fashion cos of the glitz and glamour"...i feel like throwing up..okay maybe all that is mainstream fashion..like high fashion...but street fashion n all the underground doings still hold appeal i guess..and it irks me even more to see like really clueless people in fashion, not that i m very clued in myself but what the hell are they doing here man...haha..i have no idea...and really i am losing interest in school..i mean it def shouldnt be the case..and i have been pondering why that is so..and i tink during our convo just now, i might haf realised why...i shouldnt be puttin the blame on them but this plays a part more or less, and its!the totally uninspiring lecturers we have!...who do not impart much in class at all..classes are no where near interesting or engaging...seriously. except for lectures by one lecturer. apart from that, the rest is crap. sad again but how true...and to prove it all...i was introed to this blog called lasalle revolution!haha where people voice all their displeasure n complains about the school...which i had fun reading about..and intend to maybe email my sentiments..haha..

am i at the wrong place, again?
i certainly hope not and that next sem would be better.
it better be.

AND. and giving more than takin back does come to a point when u get really tired..
so i shant anymore.
forgive me but i have to.